The whole
family is gathered waiting for her. We have been waiting for her for days,
months and years without getting tired, and we are waiting for her by growing
our hopes for her to come. My mother opens the door, we are all together
because of father’s seventieth birtday party. All family are here, brother,
sister, their children, aunt, cousins, uncle. Only one person is missing, my sister.
We didn’t see for ages. She never came any meeting or called us. We don’t know
where she is or what is she doing but we have a hope about she came and joining
us one day. My mum says she’ll come this time, we talked two days ago and she said
i’ll come here this time and her voice sounded so precise. She missed us so
much. We are passing to the dinner table. Mum prepared the dishes, all of them
are fathers favorites. cold appetizer, hot appetizer, meat, fish, pasta are all
on table. She’s putting meat on my plate and i said i don’t eat meat i’ve been
vegan for ages but she doesn’t accept this and looks at my face with a blank
expression, she doesn't care what I say. She continues to distribute the food
to other plates. Life flows, everyone is eating with joy, pretending to be
happy. When the meal is over we quietly move to the next room. Mum is start to
talking about her.
“She was such
a beautiful child when she was a kid that when we walked down the street,
people stopped us and loved her. Under her beauty lived a lonely stubborn girl.
As a child, she did not like anyone, she would retreat to her room when someone
came home, and she would not come out no matter what. Once time her auntie came
an tried to kiss her but she started to scream and didn’t talked us for days.
My mother
keeps telling stories about my sister. The same stories that I have listened to
thousands of times, and now memorize every word of my mother, using the same
words, in the same order after dinner at every meeting. I pretend to listen and
look out the window. The house in front of us was demolished and no
construction has yet begun in its place. For now, that area seems to belong to
children. They are chasing the ball. I quietly watch the games. I want to join
with them, freely chasing ball on the streets, but this is a futile request, I
have to stay here and wait for my sister, listening to the same stories at
family gatherings.
“This time she
would definitely come, ”says my mother. She finished her story. ”She promised, she
said I don't want to miss my father's birthday. Maybe she's out of business or
someone has stopped her from coming at the last minute. She's been working very
hard these days.” My mother's eyes are moist, I realize she avoids eye contact
with us, especially me. Whenever i look at her she turns her eyes the other
way.
"Let's
cut cake then," she says enthusiastically. We cut cake and eat quietly
without talking. After that, everyone is leaved at home. Another time, my
mother says, don't worry, she will definitely come. She was very upset that she
did not come. Maybe we are too crowded to avoid confrontation. If promised, she
will come for sure. She kisses us all one by one. They stay alone with my
father. They continue to live with our ghosts in that house where our childhood
passed.
Once I caught
my mother alone. I asked about that night. “Mother, isn't it difficult for you
to continue living in that house. What happened that night, why did my sister
run away? " Instead of answering, she quietly looks away for a while.
After her eyes get wet, she said in a low voice, “Why would it be difficult,
dear, you all have memories in this house. “Then it gets up and goes. I'm trying
to test my memory, I can't remember how hard I try. Why was my sister gone?
"My life, I want to live as I want", I just remember this from that
night. And the slamming of the door. We've been waiting since that day. How
many springs have passed, how many winters we have had, how many New Year's,
how many birthdays have passed.
I wake up
with the ringing of the phone in the morning. She says she came yesterday, a
holiday joy in her voice. She missed all of us very much, she could not come
out of business at the last minute, she apologized a lot, she will definitely
come to meet next time. She specifically asked you, she missed you so much, she
wanted to see you next time. She said kiss for me. I was going to go to the
market, you know, Sunday is set up on Tuesdays, I gave up going at the last
minute and I saw your sister at the door. Good thing I didn't go or I wouldn't
be able to see it. Your father is also very happy to come. She said let's be
together next time. I'm trying to share my mother's joy, but I can't be in
vain.
I know I have
an older sister away, I am hearing from my mother. It's as if our life has
stopped and we have nothing left to do but wait for it. I want her to come, and
I am happy that she is the only survivor of the family that surrounds me like
this poison ivy. I can't get mad at her. I'm not sure I want him to come
anymore. I'm tired of waiting. I get dressed and go to work, walking the usual
way, the only thought in my mind is will the next meeting come?
